Bout to watch "Black Swan" with Natalie Portman & Mila Kunis :)

How can our milk have radiation? I should hope its not imported from Japan!

I don't take kindly to your jealous cyber bullying. I require sleeps so that requires whiners to STFU.

Again number block & blacklisting for text is great. Annoy me after multiple warnings and your ass is ignored.

Now I sleep.

Dear exes. Stop whining and making dumb assumptions about me. This is why we're not together anymore. Idiots.

Ok I think the double posts are taken care of. In any event. Gotta be up at 5:30am to work early as shit tomorrow. G'nite peeples.

Dear black woman on @elvisduran I'm pretty sure u still don't have more rhythm than at "the white club" just cuz ur black don't mean shit

Dear black woman on @elvisduran I'm pretty sure u still don't have more rhythm than at "the white club" just cuz ur black don't mean shit

Goodnight internetz. Sorry for any double posts. Will disable the tumblr tomorrow (its doing it).

People have some strange ideals.

I demand less webinars! Webinars are boring :(

Seriously! The light on lincoln way & kellogg turned green. Then immediately yellow. And back to red. So out of the 10 ppl waiting 2 made it.

Some of my friends enable me to use them. And its not fair to me cuz I'm trying to be nice and a friend and not use people.

My dog has taught me that to truly appreciate my sleeping arrangement I need to circle 3 times before laying down comfortably.

And I don't care if I used grammar incorrectly either.

Mmm strawberries and sugar is delicious.

Going to watch Family Guy. My fingers are tired from over-tweeting.

Mediacom commercials are lame & false. They don't want to fix ur shitty service. They want to make u think its not broke & its ur fault & it will cost a lot to check if they showed up

Is it lame of me to want a frog doilie knitted by an old lady or a grandmother of sorts?

"Punish them brutally. Very brutally. Weird stuff. Butt stuff." American Guy

"Hanna" sounds good. Anyone wanna see it with me when it comes back?

"Where the hell is a trail of Reese's pieces when you need one" lol American Dad

"He's up in heaven now. Bumming smokes of Jesus." One of my fav American Dad quotes hehe

Dinner I'm making. Chicken stir fry (I picked out the gross water chestnuts)

I'm glad I ate a little taco today for lunch. Cuz if it weren't for that i'd be eating these childrens books while waiting at the dentist!

Goodnight internetz... as I fall asleep to Oblongs instead of shitty anime for once (thank u adult swim) :)

Mmm reese's peanut butter eggs. I had me some and they were delicious!

If Family Guy is the highest rated show on Sunday.. on adult swim.. why the fuck do u keep playing that anime and clown shit?

Then do I get to spank you with my belt? moraloral

The missionary position.. first developed by noah ;) moraloral

An early dinner.. made by me ;)

Some ppl have issues. Getting upset when u don't text em right back.. even when ur working or napping & they know it..

Ohhhhhhhhh! I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner! Cuz that is what I'd really like to be. And if I were an Oscar Mayer weiner, everyone would be so proud of me! Ch'yea!

Cooking some dinner...

When you're texting someone & they're nice to you til they realize who it is. People are hypocrites.

Mi y oskuro

Me & Stephy

Muahhhhh

Saw Sucker Punch with Oscar. It wasn't what I expected. It was good. Great graphics & visual effects.

So sleepy. Goodnight internetz.

Why do some ppl get away with things but if I try to do those same things I get bitched at? so looking forward to my 3 days off!

I'm tired of lame remixes. Make your own music and write your own lyrics. Otherwise you're not an artist. You're just a re-sampler

Ok good night for real now. Elvis Duran in the morning tomorrow from 6 to 7 while I drive my happy ass to work!

Why is it that I'm so awesome I'm asked to do everything all the time? I don't want to be this awesome anymore.

Goodnight internetz. Gotta get up in 6.5 hours to work at a place in place of someone. And I will prevail!

I don't like it when people I don't know get upset with me for no good reason. It makes me want to keep not knowing them.

Dear Jimmy Jonhs. Stop deleting my tip about ur drivers not knowin how to park! E. 14th Jimmy Johns drivers no can parky park! :(

Ick

I'm tired of their shit on E. 14th! A little notification before a lane closure would be nice!

After I got home from work.. it was a good night with a good people.. that is all..

So glad I found Nibbler. She was hiding @ the neighbors. Glad she isn't a piece of crap friend. She's woman's best friend :)

Cleaning the trash off of my lists!

Is it just me or does it seem like the more people working the less productive things seem to get? Lol

I also think there's enough ppl in the world that the ppl who act like ur best friends shouldn't go around fucking w/anyone u have

You know that incestuous thing some group of friends have where everyone has slept w/everyone? Yea I don't want to be part of that

I appreciate the features "send straight to voicemail" and "blacklist texts from" on my phone :D

Note to self: I'm awesome

Gonna go ask the roomie where my exfoliating washcloth went. I don't want to buy a new one!

What type of person steals an exfoliating wash cloth?! Someone in this house! That's what type :( mine is MIA :(

Me "I fingered your pop sir" and steph "strangely he's ok with that" as I put my finger in the persons drink behind us and wave...

House of Bricks. May 14th. 3pm to 8pm. Benefit for transgendered. If interested in going or participating let me know. Cuz baby I was born this way. Hay :)

We can always party on our own...

If you're too school for cool!

You will never be any thing but loud!

Yepp

My nails under the black light...

Some people need to learn how to do their jobs correctly. It's not that hard.

2 hours later its over. And well I guess the stories make sense and go together. And they all live happily ever after. Awww.

Hearafter is kind of.. complex.. there's 3 stories going on at once & I don't have the attention span lol..

Do you think Charlie Sheen gave up hookers & blow for lent?

Ever met a person that makes an awesome 1st impression, but after that they're shit? I've met too many like that & I'm tired of em

Everyone must have took today off so they could get plastered last night. Losers ;) I already had it off lol.

While I wanna watch the chick cut off all the guys weiners and basically make them suffer.. I can't suffer through her torture.

Now watching "I spit on your grave" unrated. Traumatic story of a womans abuse & revenge on the men. Looks cheesy. We'll see if it's worth the 1$ lol

Why does it always smell like fart on the east side of DSM? Blech :(

I enjoy roommates who aren't respectful to ppl who do have jobs.. waking me up at all hours becuz they're loud :(

Last but not least. If you have words with friends. Gimme your email address or screen name so we can play :)

Well enough of that ;) Goodnight internetz & share your St. Patties day plans with me (I need ideas) :)

Really? When you kick someone out so many times.. how long is it going to take you before you stop?

Sometimes you just need a break from people. It's why vacations don't always work with large crowds.

Sometimes I wonder about people...

Can't wait to be back in Des Moines tomorrow.

Back at moms. Watching dogs lick themselves. It doesn't get much more exciting than this... in Wapello ;)

Can I go to one place w/o this stupid woman stalking me? For fucks sake!

Should I be concerned that over half the lesbians here look like my ex-boyfriends?

There is a lady wearing brown peep toe boots and black socks! Seriously!

Repeat!

Going swimming now @ the hotel. If any of my peoples are around feel free to get ahold of me and stop by :)

My tan is very real. It doesn't come from a can or a bottle. It comes from UV rays like any other tan! :)

I think I will have to poop soon.

Oh. Had a good dinner with my sis. Gotta see my niece & nephew for about a minute before they left for their supposed plans ;)

And my toe hurts. Curse my new shoes lol.

How many Happy Birthdays did I get? It doesn't matter because some people who I thought would tell me didn't. And now I'm sad :P

@ the Saddle

Visiting my moms :)

Why isn't MirandasBirthday a TT? I'm tired of tsunami prayforjapan japon fuckushima

Thanks to all for the B-Day wishes :) Headed to Burlington/Wapello now :)

Happy Birthday to me. Can't believe I made it this far.

Dear SUVs racing me. You might go faster but I get better gas mileage lol.

Goodnight peoples.

I has a spy... and they're not spying via facebook, twitter, or foursquare like normal folk!

I gotta feeling, this weekend's gonna be a good one! Yep! 2 days til my Birthday.. 4 days off.. no work & no Des Moines :D

I've noticed some sneaky sneaksters lately.. better clean that trail a little better.. take tips from this super sneakster herself

Go away snow! Come back after the 15th! *shakes fist*

Yay to home. Tanning. And shitty parkers.

Dear facebook. I'm cheating on you with twitter. Get over it. And good night internets :)

So charliesheen is crazy, drug induced, hooker addicted. But "two and a hald men" won't survive w/o him. fail

Oh boy it's swell to say good morning USAaaaaa! :) yay for my cartoons americandad cartoonnetwork

Sally is back with her peeps. Maybe she'l make a friend like she's supposed to. Eh I doubt it. No one likes a bipolar ghost. syfy

Now watching Josh squirm trying to explain why he bolted after "furious animal sex" w/his new fwb lol is great beinghuman syfy

So this mom was trying to invite Hayden over to be dirty. But now that she knows he's a perv she's not ok w/ it? beinghuman syfy

Poor Josh turned into a wolf and tried to eat the ghost. Too bad he failed. I like her right now though ;) beinghuman syfy

Ooh I can't wait for cartoons later! Yay *does happy dance* I get tired of that shitty anime on all weekend.

What a naughty scene on beinghuman syfy

Oh shit! Kfc 5$ meals. Who's taking me out to dinner on Weds for my day off? We can eat like kings!

Crazy ghost throwing shit causing a rukus cause she's overly dramatic. I don't think I like her. beinghuman syfy

When a vampire protects a nerdy kid from a bed wetting bully and his side kick. Aww. beinghuman syfy

Being Human <3

My dog is a pervy lesbian... lol...

Finally waded through my TL. There wasn't a lot of funny stuff. But I was happy the ghetto slang bull shit was not present :)

Dear drunk guy arguing with old lady about who was in line first and if there are two lines.. and whether you're drunk or not.. FIGHT :D I wanna see a WalMart brawl hehe..

Dear woman returning shit you didn't even buy from WalMart.. don't bitch cause it's not in their inventory..

Fuck you WalMart and your lack of parking spaces. I'm already skinny. I don't need more exercise!

Dear iphone. Android OS is better :) My phone might be shitty but it is 2 years old... wait til yours is that old, oh wait it won't make it that long...

Hi Des Moines. In 4 days I will be saying f- you :) and hey to my 4 day weekend elsewhere.

Quit?

Used tampon water anyone?

Look I crappily painted my nails at work today...

So last night I dreamed I pushed someone down the stairs and then I left. Someone else got arrested for the crime. Hmmm.

FIVE days! Can't wait :)

I got up a half hour early so I could go tan but then I decided to just tweet instead :)

Dislikes living with 2 people who don't have jobs. But are on unemployment. One makes me think i'd be richer w/o a job cuz all she does is shop. The other makes me think i'd be funner w/o a job cuz all she does is drink!

Ok. Sleep time. Tweet, Mention, DM me awesome and/or stupid junk for me to read when I wake :D lol goodnite

There's a crazy cat lover show on. I should stop channel surfing. But first I must change this channel! I love cats but not enough for this show.

Ace Ventura is on the spanish channel? Omg is today my lucky day or what! :D

I wonder if any famous comedians have ever been heckled and if so did they get pissed like the opening act did with me @ the funny bone that one time? I still lol about him :)

How much do white doves cost? I'm about to find out on BET.

The ppl in the ebates.com commercial look sad and single. And I don't trust em!

Uh oh. Infomercial time. And it's about an awesome tiller. With awesome in the name how can u resist! It even comes w/a power drill!

Who are these ppl on "red eye" one looks like he's on the rolling stones mag. One looks like he's on 2 & a half men. And there's a stalker & a hooker.

Oh the original and best buffy the vampire slayer. Is in the "what if" movie. To any fans out there. I guess I'm not one lol

I've never heard of "what if" movie until the "red eye" show on fox. Hmm I think I'm stil ok without it ;)

Kevin Sorbo! Yea what the f- is up with those red tinted glasses y0.

Half of the people I've texted today are co-workers. Does that make me a dedicated employee that deserves a raise or what?

Red Eye. I've never seen this show but I kind of like it.

What happened to Rolling Stone magazine :( it has gone way down hill :(

Why did they put snooki on rolling stone magazine? She has nothing to do with music and she probably doesn't even know what rock music is

Snooki says "after this I can't get a normal job" haha as if she could get a normal job before :( lies

I hate the weekends that I work. I won't go out and there's no good cartoons on :(

Is thankful for ppl who have no concept of time.. so I can be late & they won't notice...

You- "Hey there's something on your face." Me- "yea that's my zit." You- "oh" lol

Only 6 days til my birthday and I have 4 days off work and get the f-- out of this town :)

I do not love my bindi dot pimple :(

Way to leave your kids in the car while you eat out at Applebee's ... true story :(

Free weezy!

Att is not getting faster because 4g isn't out yet. Stop lying at&t liars cellphone

My milkshake brings all the zombies to the yard.. but only if it's puree'd flesh.. walkingdead amc

Walking Dead marathon on AMC? Yes please :)

Yay replacement phone. And my standard apps have been installed.

Home made food is the best. Especially when someone else makes it :)

I do not appreciate that some of my apps are now uninstalled. Especially one I paid for!

Listen to teenagers argue about stripping & nude modeling/porn is annoying :(

Dear @50cent when are you releasing a new album.. or do u and kanye still have that deal where you're not going to?

@elvisduran I don't like it but. I keep getting a busy signal...

Uh oh. The judges are taking a closer look. There's edges! What's that foam! Will the oompa loompa groom win? syfy faceoff

I like the vegas wedding. With elvis & the pregnant chick :) syfy faceoff

The old asian couple looked awful :( syfy faceoff

Merlin an original series on sy fy. No thanks.

Themes for the bride to groom, groom to bride weddings.. vegas, old age, classic... sweet geishas :) syfy faceoff

The best thing I ever ate? Hmm I don't know, it was probably some form of cheesecake. foodnetwork

Why do they call them egg rolls when there's no egg in them? Why the wrap is made of egg. That's why :) foodnetwork

Even tho battle los angeles comes out on my birthday.. I still don't want to see it.. how dare you compete with "MY" special day!

The guy that hates hair & doesn't like working w/it wins. He did accents on the eyebrows. His model did look nifty. faceoff syfy

So I don't care if they lay the hair properly or blend it. It's moustache city up in this piece faceoff

I think face off wins for now because I don't want to watch metalocalypse.

Face off turn the bride into the groom & the groom into the bride? I want to see that. sounds so simple. I see too many queens ;)

To watch "face off" or cartoons.. hmm..