Syfy has my vampire fix :)

Got approached by perfume sales people outside. All I could think was "ahh they're gonna make me pass out so they can rob me"

40 minutes on the bike and 208 calories burned :)

People shouldn't make me wait. I'm not patient and I shouldn't have to wait. That's not how it works.

Thank you fucking phone for deleting ALL of my text messages. You're the best. I can't wait to replace your lame ass with a new phone.

Dear caffeine withdrawl headache.. GO AWAY before I keel you.. thanks :)

P.S. regarding me saying ppl "need sammiches" I'm not jealous & I don't think all women smaller than me look hungry. Just the cracked out ones.

I want the chef basket! 2 chef baskets & the ever lasting knife only 14.99! If I call now there's free shipping omg! infomercials

The ugliest girls ever did the strip off :( and a crack whore who wanted a sammich.. won.. a dildo..

I LOVE wasting my time

I loce wasting my time

I just burned 155 calories in 30 minutes @ Planet Fitness

Bleh to this "snow"

Family Guy is awesome. If you agree, we have something in common. obviousFYI

Is not co-dependant and is not attracted to people whom are. FYI

Today I didn't mind being alone for a change.. goodnight internet :)

Things never cease to amaze me at work...

I'd rather be watching ball in a cup championships than womens soccer practice.

@elvisduran it's not a chatroom it's a party line...

Dear south side garbage men. Thank you for strewing our trash all around the area. We appreciate it!

Dislikes it when ppl fake it to everyone in order to get something. Then when they get it their true self comes out :(

They say you can't polish a turd. Are they sure? Have they tried?

Dinner. Steak & green beans :)

Met the cutest old man today when I took my purse in to get it repaired. He talked and talked :) cheap rates tho on zipper & leather repair. C&J Leather.

Thinking of getting a membership to Planet Fitness. Their 1$ monthly promo ends tonight. Then after that its 10$ a month. Or 20$ if I want unlimited tanning :D

Dear guys. You can't pimp it in a mini-van & please don't wink at me.. if you drive a mini-van. Your wife & kids won't appreciate that..

I recommend it for chicks who like some romance. Or for dudes who wanna make chicks happy. "I am Number 4". :D

"I am Number 4" started out exciting. Then was slow for a while. Got better w/some romance, sadness, and splashed in some action.

The ewast side smells like fart :(

At the doctor. Here's crossing my fingers that Primary Healthcare doesn't suck as bad as Broadlawns.

Time to watch a bunch of Californication. Season 4 Episode 1. <3 David D showtime

FYI - dropping a droid phone on your toe hurts. I don't recommend it.

Bleh. I actually don't feel like death today. This is good :)

4 ibuprofen. 2 tylenol. And 1 diphendyrdamine later. Goodnight internets. I see you tomorrow when I'm bored at work.

Well another day another beer bottle dropped on my head by some bar skank. Who does the "what what" and I have to intimidate her off. I hate bars.

Yazmine is a beautiful gal :)

The keg is dry!

Its only 11:10 and a girl already has her shoes off! Woot woot :)

Ho down!

7$ all you can drink uh oh! Its ok I set my alarn for work before I left!

This spanish translator cracks me up!

Es muy frio!

Yo quiero uno margarita por favor. Muy bien gracias. Y tu!

Its not my fault my droid phone uploads photos while your iphones sits there lazily...

I'm tryin to order a burrito loco, ese!

Yay for sneaky stalkers <3

Learning about gender roles. Woo?

I dislike it when I'm getting something (groceries, pop, etc) and someone reaches through me to get something instead of waiting.

No more bridal talk on elvisduran plz

Graduation rates are really higher in Iowa than any other state? Sad for other states.

What happened the it being almost 70 yesterday? Eff this Iowa weather. Me no like 30 degrees :(

I'm glad I woke up 10 minutes earlier today. Damn I feel like crap and wanted to call in.

Dear twitter, thanks for ur entertainment & debauchery tonite. But its bedtime. Facebook, eff u, ur lucky I keep u around.

Can't wait to go to Burlington to visit my fav people for my Birthday. I will get there on the 1th and leave on the 13th or 14th.

So. No make up. Sick with the flu. I get whistled at and called sexy. Hmmm. Yay?

Up an hour early! Shower time! :)

And on that note. I bid all my players good night. Its time for American Dad & Family Guy theywin youlose Thursday goodnight

Guys sit around talking about all these "hos" but we know they ain't surrounded by all these hos. They're just wannabe players ;)

1 Mucinex D. 2 Tylenol. 4 Ibuprofen. 1 Diphenhydramin. 1 Bottle of 7 Up. Eff this flu!

Good day off. Nothing accomplished, read some rants by idiots w/complexes on twitter & watched a lot of tv. Sucks having the flu.

vh1 rupauldragrace omg carmen carrera mm hmm there's a reason she always win :)

I hate asking ppl questions & they don't respond :( If I text a question, reply! If I email a question, reply! If the answer is no I'll live.

Dear internets... I'm tired and sickly... please make it so I wake up feeling better tomorrow... thanks... goodnight :)

Sometimes when people talk to me I ignore them. Other times when I talk to people and they ignore me. I get pissy :)

I too now know what it sounds like when a donkey climaxes. Hee haw trutv

Oh now its a fake orgasm contest? Haha! trutv

Nothing like watching a bunch of hispanics (I think) beat each other up and the ref flogging them with a feather.. trutv

What's more annoying than an apple addict BEFORE iphone was with Verizon? One after :( applesucks

Trutv has a bisexual underwear modeling show on hehe

I'm gonna have to step it up before my Birthday and maybe work out or something lol. Maybe I'll work on drinking less first? Cuz I don't know if I can work out.

Weighed myself today because I thought I had gained some weight. Yep. I have :(

Damn G I Joes always ruining my good squirrel fun!

Oh and here's a black squirrel just to prove I'm not racist tokenblacksquirrel

Osama Bin Squirrel!

Followed by machine gun squirrel

Bring on the squirrels! Starting with squirrels & light sabers :D

Goodnight interwebs. Looking forward to the 15th. No whiny posts about VD ;) andddd pay day betches!

Oooh on my note of going to bed.. guess who got a dozen roses for VD? Lol yep me :) I also got a cold but who's taking that many notes...

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't have so many whore friends. But I just think whores are more fun.. lol

Happy Valentines Day. Livin it right :D

Tonights Valentines Day plans consist of me taking a longgggg nap... :)

For Des Moines being so big. It sure feels pretty small sometimes. Maybe moving wouldn't be such a bad idea...

I sometimes feel people stalk my friends out so I will opt to have less friends than risk association with stalkers...

Haha for apple peoples ;) http://ping.fm/Xzi96 apple mac

They say she needs to slow down.. the baddest thing around town.. she's nothing like a girl you've ever seen before.. nothing you can compare to your neighborhood whore..

Oh hot damn. This is my jam. Keep me partying til the AM.

Just like my nano she's shuffling and I'm lovin it...

Peter & Brian goes to AA :)

F- the grammys. I'd rather watch family guy.

Who's singing? Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Hudson and? ? Lol. grammy kcci

Had a great weekend. Friday was great (aside of the druggie who tried to steal my phone and the fact that the workers at Le Boi didn't care). But the awesome show at the Garden on Sat & my wonderful company made up for it :D

Whyh can't Kim be a real pop star? You think you are and you're not either... realhousewives bravo

I have decided that the Real Housewives or Atlanta really look like some fierce drag queens :) bravo

You don't have to pull every drag trick every single time? What! rupauldragrace

Manilla DeVille rupauldragrace

Me again 2/11/11

Me again

More of me on 2/11/11

How many stds are katy perry & russell brand swapping now? guesstimates anyone?

More House of Love 2/12/11 @ the Garden

2/12/11 @ the Garden

Madison Cavalier again 2/12/11 @ the Garden

Madison Cavalier 2/12/11 @ the Garden

More House of Love. Why don't they do more shows.. not just for Valentine's Day anymore ladies! 2/12/11 @ the Garden

Yazmine 2/12/11 @ the Garden

Yazmine. I think she's my new fav :)

Yazmine 2/12/11 @ the Garden

Let's get totally leotarded! Yeah!

ConDRAGulations...

More Yazmine 2/12/11 @ the Garden

More of Yazmine 2/12/11 @ the Garden

Yazmine :) 2/12/11 @ the Garden

More of House of Love @ the Garden 2/12/11

2/12/11 House of Love @ The Garden. What an amazing show!

RuPaul Drag Race! Vh1 has good shows sometimes :)

2/12/11 Seven Love @ the Garden

2/12/11 me & Jen @ the Garden.. for the past 4-5 YEARS the Garden has had House of Love and they're amazing!

Me 2/12/11

2/11/11 Tyona @ Le Boi

@ Le Boi 2/11/11 Tyona

Another @ Le Boi 2/11/11

@ Le Boi 2/11/11

Me again 2/11/11

Me getting ready 2/11/11

Me 2/11/11

Nibbler again

Nibbler

*yawn* what a great weekend. Can't wait to go through my pics and put em all up! I gots so many!

Omfg I can't do it!

Dislike!

Wondering if I should text them again or just assume they're dead and find a replacement. Advice? :)

Ever text someone a question they don't reply to then 2 days later text them again with no reply. Then its a week later and still NOTHING?

Real Housewives of Atlanta. If I saw any of these women wandering around here i'd think there were just any other ghetto bitch. justsayin

I has found the key!

My #1 lady :) puppies pets dogs toocute

My puppy Nibbler

Locked from the inside :(

Omg I got this crest prohealth and its the shiz.. it makes my teeth feel so friggin clean! I recommend it!

Crackwhore just tried to pocket my phone while I was dancing. I caught her hand & said hey can I have my phone back.. lol

They say god is a DJ

Snookie has the "I wanna fuck an oompa loompa appeal"

I'm lovin that sushi! Mm mm

But tonight I'm lovin you. Oh oh. To know that tonight I'm lovin you. Oh oh.

And last of me.. 2/11/11

Me yet again...

Me again 2/11/11

Heading out...

Boys are stinky. And mouthy.

Potential new dating site... christianmingle.com ? Lol

I really need to save more money so I can invest in a new laptop. I want to get back to graphic design and trolling twitter more!

Glitter!

The bathroom at the Saddle smells like pickles. Do I want to know why?

Just got hit on by a 61 year old guy who says "you should do me" and I really said "ew no" and made a face...

Yea high score of 88 :D

I don't care if I ever see you again. In a month I won't remember you.

Finally home. Contemplating tanning but it's so cold outside and so nice in my room :)

I feel like if someone's day at work can be ruined within the first 5 mins of them being there & cause them to go into a rage fit.. they should find a new job

Passive agressive people = shit

So fucking glad I'm off work :D

Oh happy Tuesday. I think every night I should take sleepy meds to drown out my loud roomies. I slept fantastically :) P.S. day off tomorrow!

Cher impersonator (Candi Lane) at the Garden last weekend drag queen glbt desmoines iowa

Last weekend @ the Garden drag diva queen glbt desmoines iowa

Last weekend @ the Garden glbt desmoines iowa drag

Another of the awesome queens at the Garden last weekend

Cher impersonator & her back up divas at the Garden last weekend

Cher impersonator @ the Garden last weekend